Daddy Daycaring... or is he?
Recently, I've had TWO different DAD's say the same thing, and it's cause for pause.
In polite social circles- I casually asked about their life and plans- the way we do when we talk about superficial things to people in passing and they answered "Just babysitting the kids."
You're the Dad.
Isn't that just Dad-ing?
When I'm with my kids-I'm not babysitting. I'm just being a Mom.
Is this a gender thing? Is this a male perspective? Is this a cultural perspective?
I remember when I was a kid- one of my favorite things to do when my dad was home from work on weekends was to follow him around like a shadow and learn how to repair all the things he was repairing on his to-do list.
Fixing the dog house, tilling the garden, repairing the fence, changing a tire...
I just liked to be around my dad.
I've never asked him- but I wonder if he was "baby-sitting" me. I wonder if that's how he saw it- I didn't see it that way... he's my dad.
He worked long hours all week and was gone most Sunday's doing church work; when I had the chance to be with him- especially one-on-one (in a family o f 6 kids) I took it- even when it looked like chores.
Honestly, I don't think I want to ask him if he was just "babysitting" me. Because I hope he never thought of it that way. For me, it was special- for me, it was being with a parent. I didn't see HIM as a baby sitter any more than I saw my MOM as one.
In the same energy of this post- I had someone say this week about a divorced Dad not paying his child support and holding a steady job "I don't know why he doesn't MAN UP and take care of his kids."
In that moment- I had the awareness to catch the stereotype.
I said: "It's not really Man-ing up to me. I LEVELED up for my kids. I pay my bills, hold a job, bought a house (by myself when I was single) regardless of having a penis."
Taking care of your kids has NOTHING to do with gender.
BOTH parents SHOULD handle that...
If only ONE of them LEVELS up- so be it... but penis or no... it gets to be done.
SO, I guess I'm putting out a reflection- a thought really- a contemplation about stereotypes and underlying chauvinist conversations and cultural or generational ideas about the "ROLES" we play and readily accept as real.