Mother’s Day for Angel Kids

Yesterday, at the diamond store; one our favorite clients stopped by. She’s tender hearted and kind, an older woman and was popping in to pick up a jewelry repair before moving on to a wedding she was attending.

As we chatted lightly about the upcoming celebration she was headed to and about family; she paused and asked “How old was your son when he died?”

The question took me by surprise and I answered “19 months old.”

She witnessed my reply and was thoughtful before she continued. “And it still makes you teary? Even all these years later.” She said it in a definitive compassionate way.

“Yes.” I responded. “Wouldn’t it you?”

She’s a mother of four and has many grandchildren that she has told me stories about for years- her husband is a Veteran.

After a brief silence, She answered genuinely and softly- “Yes.”

Most of the time- I don’t cry at the mention of my son. But she took me “unawares” my guard was down.

Mother’s Day is this Sunday.

Being a mother is and has been the greatest gifts in my life. And. The greatest heartbreak.

You only know- if you know.

I love my kids.
I fail them regularly.
I do my best repeatedly.
Once in a while, I get it right.

I remember once saying “Being a mother is seeing a vomiting infant and walking towards it- instead of running away.”

But there really isn’t a true definition of Motherhood.

It’s something that changes a young naive girl into a guardian, a warrior, a fighter, a nurturer, a selfless and devoted woman. It’s an awakening to the flow of this world and an initiation into the cycle of humanity that you never truly understood before.

Cleaning the floor on hands and knees like millions of women before you- just as they have and did. It’s knowing that your life is imperative to the survival of another’s- and that all your strengths and weaknesses will now be tested and tried and hopefully... surpassed.

It’s seeing a part of your soul, living outside of your control and knowing that they have their own path to forge and that you can’t protect them forever.

It’s seeing them laugh - and realizing another humans full fledged joy is more satisfying than your own.

Being a mother is more than a part of me- it’s dye in the water. Every thing I am is effected by and tinted by the reality of being a mother.

It has shaped everything about who I Am and I am better than I ever would have been or could have been - because of my children.

And truthfully- I wish I was better.
I try to be.

But they are perfect for me.

Happy Mother’s Day.

And to all you Mom’s of Angel kids:
My heart you.




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