You can’t ask for a warrior and treat him like a puppy.
Recently, I was with a group of women who were playing card games with their significant others. I wanted to join the game, but in order to keep the game even, I needed another person to join with me.
They suggested I ask my husband to join. I didn’t. “He doesn’t want to play.” I explained. A fact I already knew.
Their response was immediate “Just make him play.” They ordered.
Which took me by surprise and my response was just as immediate “He’s not that kind of man.”
They laughed at me and taunted “So, you’re saying you can’t make him.”
I answered with detached boldness. “I probably could. But I’m not that kind of wife.”
And they were quiet.
When I was in my 20’s and married, I probably would have engaged in manipulation or begging or nagging my husband to do things he didn’t want to do. But in my 20’s I didn’t know I was a Goddess.
Those ways aren’t becoming of us.
I recently posted an image of my husband and me.
It read: I never wanted a prince on a horse to save me and lead the way; or a king to rule me.
I wanted a Warrior. An Equal. A Partner. So, I became one and he met me there.
I know who I am.
I have faced challenges and overcame them.
I have walked through the fire of life and know that I am bold, I am strong, I am able.
My partner is my equal.
He is not my donkey to carry loads, my sugar daddy to finance my whims, my therapist to listen to all my woes, my girlfriend to tell me what to wear, or my puppy to train.
He is whatever he chooses to be. If I asked him to play that game- he would have. But I didn’t because I knew he didn’t want to.
There have been times that I have asked for things and he has acquiesced his personal preference in order to please me- but he has never been MINE to order.
I am a woman. I don’t want a ruler or dictator and I don’t want to be one. I want my husband to have all he’s ever dreamed of and if he asks for something or wants something- I will move mountains to create it, give it or manifest it. But I don’t choose to be controlled so I won’t control him.
He treats me like a Goddess. Not a queen. He’s not here to serve me. He honors me and I honor him.
We are EACH individual and we are EACH capable of whatever we put our mind to. We BOTH want each other to have everything we’ve dreamed of. We BOTH will do all it takes to support one another. We BOTH know that either of us doesn’t NEED each other but that we CHOOSE to be together.
No manipulation. No control. No whining or nagging.
Just open, authentic conversation and creation.
Too many times we women want the warriors, protectors, heroes, etc.
And then try to train them as if they were our puppies.
You can’t have both.
Be the Goddess you are. Let him be the Warrior he is.
Hold hands and go forward.
Let there be freedom in your commitment.
Photo by Hannah Celeste Photography