How Shamanism Found Me

My life had been turned upside down.

After 13 years of marriage, I was single.

When he left, he moved out of state and with him, every last cent in our bank account.
Too prideful to ask for help. I sold everything we owned from the 5 bedroom, 4 bathroom 3 car garage house in order to feed my children; ages, 13, 8, and 3. They didn't know their parents had broken up- they thought he had left the state for work. They didn't know I had $8 in change to support our newly reshaped family and build a new life.

I sold everything BUT the mattresses, couch, computer and our TV with DVD player.

My friends drove an hour with a truck and trailer to get me and my kids and take me "home"
to Payson, Utah.

Working 3 jobs to provide for my kids financially and emotionally, we transitioned into a new reality- my world was complex and simple:
Work. Provide. Sleep when you can. Cry quietly so they don't wake up. Start over.

In this blur of making ends meet, I was invited to a full moon ceremony at a woman's house I somewhat knew.

I decided to go.

I had so little time to be free, to do anything for me- but I felt I could budget out a couple hours once a month.

I didn't know- this evening was the marble roll that would cascade my life down the path I would follow, I didn't know that the other women attending were severely intuitive people. (Two of them Near Death Survivors, Psychics and Energy Healers.)

I went to the ceremony for a break. I went to find new friends. I went because I felt a pull to go.

We sat by the fire. I was mostly silent. I was watching, listening, intrigued by the wisdom and sisterhood they shared.

The Full Moon cast a comforting cool silver glow above and the golden flames of fire in our backyard gathering rose up to meet the sky. The perfect balance, reminding me of old friends reaching out to touch hands after a long time away.

I don't remember what the women were chatting about, but I do remember that while I sat observing, time began to slow and get fuzzy- the light of the fire, and silhouettes of people laughing as they shared became a haze and through this shift a voice that I recognized but didn't know said;

"Follow the Ankh. Find Isis."
The voice wasn't male or female, it was an impression- a clear message, and it was gone.

Everything became normal again. The wheel of time clicking back into it's rhythm.

No one else had heard anything but me.
Nothing of consequence had occurred.
I brushed it off- I simply felt that my imagination was creative.

The evening ended and I went home.

The next day I was traveling to Park City with our team at the Diamond store to a Jewelers Convention for the weekend. Having spent time there regularly in the past doing volunteer work, I took two of my staff out shopping to "show" them the shops and old main street.

This was how we found ourselves in a tiny little crystal and book store. Wood trimmed windows and wind chimes, incense burning, singing bowls propped on pedestals... I thought the team would like it.
I stood in a shelf lined alcove as the team browsed and shopped; biding my time while they enjoyed the amenities of the little shop.

I waited patiently humored- my eyes casting over the shelf beside me and suddenly my heart stopped ; a book at my eye level caught my attention. On the spine of the book there was the symbol of the Ankh. An Egyptian symbol known for eternal life.

The book was titled. SHAMANISM.

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