THE "I Can't....." EPIDEMIC, and Gender EQUALITY...

One of my GIANT PET PEEVES is hearing women say:

"I Can't. My husband said NO."
This is severely demeaning- TO themselves.
If the TRUTH is; "My husband I discussed it, and factored in our mutual goals and priorities and decided against it." than DON'T say "He said No." He is NOT the bad guy and he is not the decision maker for you and your life.

I am the Retail Manager at Duke's Jewelers in Springville, Utah. (
and I ROUTINELY see women devaluing- debunking, degrading THEMSELVES.

Here are some examples:

One woman has been in my store over 10 times in TWO months- putting the SAME anniversary diamond band "on-hold" again and again..... because she's "TRYING" to convince her husband to FINALLY say "yes" she can have it. (this same ring is a random anomaly sale for half price... from $3150-to $1575)
BUT, she doesn't have her OWN budget or income.... he gets to make all the financial decisions.
Don't get me wrong.... they HAVE the money for it. He just doesn't "see" the purpose in buying jewelry versus buying guns, amping up his truck....etc.
I can't imagine feeling like a child asking a parent for a toy when it comes to things I desire.
Let me put it like this..... Hey LADIES... if you want something PRETTY for yourself and it doesn't damage your bank account.... create the funds and get it.

Another example:
The 16yr-20yr-somethings.....
I have these amazing and capable women go through my inventory and gasp at the pieces they LOVE LOVE LOVE... they ADORE these beautiful rings, pendants, bracelets etc.... and they say- "Someday, I'm going to find someone to get that for me."
First, how rude is it to put "requirements" on some unsuspecting man out there... and Second, IF YOU WANT SOMETHING.... create a way to get it. YOU ARE WORTH IT.
Buy your own DIAMONDS. Stop holding yourself back from the things you love and desire because you "think" it has to come from someone else in order to "mean something."

Last Example:
EVERY WEEK.... Divorcing or Divorced women sell our store old diamond rings and other jewelry. In order to support and feed themselves.
Many times they are SOOO angry or despondent, I can feel their energy the moment the door swings open.
They will tell me about being married for X Amount of time and how their EX spouse "COMPLETELY SCREWED" them over by affairs or was a jerk or was abusive and now they are left with NOTHING and they are entirely destitute- living on their new "Daddy" (aka- US. Government)

In a world where it is COMMON knowledge that marriages have a 50% success rate.... why be angry at the man in a relationship.... when it was US (women) who didn't make plans for our future. If we didn't get a college education or job skills, or retirement fund, or a way to support ourselves... IT IS NOT A MAN's FAULT.

As women, we can DO ANYTHING. We live in a society and country where WE CAN have just about any job, we can get educations, we can live anywhere, dress how we like, say what we choose.... and WE CAN PROVIDE FOR OURSELVES AND OUR CHILDREN.
WE are THAT amazing.

I get the anger... .I was that way too a few years ago- and it was MISPLACED... I didn't have the right to be angry at a man- but AT MYSELF for not being accountable for MY LIFE and future... but HERE I AM NOW... my kids are housed and fed and I have more diamond rings than I have fingers..... Not because another person provided it- but because I stepped UP into recognizing what I AM CAPABLE of creating.
And that, as a WOMAN, is empowering, gratifying, and fulfilling.

~katie jo welch
Retail Manager of Duke's Jewelers


  1. This is a GREAT post! I am 25 & happily unmarried, because i amSO grateful I was able to grow up on my own, trust God, and create the life I want. This post is an affirmation of how I feel and have been feeling about making progress financially. It is OK and NECESSARY for me to be business minded, to have big dreams, to own real estate, to invest in the stock market, and essentially, to be a badass boss chick. Didn't billie holiday say, 'god bless the child that's got her own?' I have been considering buying my first property (a duplex) and renting out the other half. I was intimidated because I felt that maybe I should wait until I have a husband to help me or support me in case I run into any trouble as a landlady or with the mortgage. But, After I prayed the other day God showed me that no guy is gonna give me the lifre I want and now is the perfect opportunity to "do me". Much luv!

  2. Thank you for your insight! Way to go!


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